PERFECTING LOVE

PREFACE - I began this study of love quiet some time ago. After the first deliverance in 1975, I became aware of my lack of any kind of love that did not have a large tinge of selfishness in it. As I would read and reread I Cor. 13, I tried desperately to understand what God could possibly mean by the things Paul was saying by the Spirit.

I have found a very important reason to grow up in love until we reach agape love. Do you know why there is so very little discernment in the church? Let's look at Phil. 1:8-11, For God is my witness how I long for and pursue you all with love, in the tender mercy of Christ Jesus (Himself)! And this I pray: That your love may abound yet more and more and extend to its fullest development in knowledge and in all keen insight (that your love may display itself in greater depth of acquaintance and more comprehensive discernment). So that you may surely learn to sense what is vital, and approve and prize what is excellent and of real value (recognizing the highest and the best, and distinguishing the moral differences), and that you may be untainted and pure and unerring and blameless (so that with hearts sincere and certain and unsullied, you may approach) the day of Christ (not stumbling nor causing others to stumble). May you abound in and be filled with the fruits of righteousness (of right standing with God and right doing) which come through Jesus Christ (the Anointed One), to the honor and praise of God (that His glory may be manifested and recognized).

Discernment is an important area that is missing from most of the church. I have witnessed many church failures and many broken lives because the pastors could not discern the evil spirits in a man they brought into the church and loosed on the congregation. Even if some one in the church did discern the spirits of the man and warn the pastor, that person would by told about their critical spirit and told not to criticize God's anointed man. Because of the types of love shown in the home, church and community today, we have many people both young and old who do not seem to be able to distinguish moral values.

GENERAL - Love is one of those words we use often and know very little about. In the world we say, "I love french fries, I love you to death (that's a strange saying), I love him or her for how they make me feel or how they treat me". We are going to study a much greater meaning of love, which will include all of these. We would probably rather not have to examine ourselves and our motives this much, but we should.

How about our flippant phrase, "I love Jesus so much I'd die for him." Do you really? I don't see you looking for the martyr line. I became aware of my flippant attitude concerning this statement when I began to be persecuted over having received deliverance. I began to think that I had maybe lied to myself, others and God. I did not feel very happy and glad to be persecuted, in fact it hurt a great deal. I decided that if I did not love God enough to pay no attention to persecution, I probably would lie or do something to try and not die for Jesus.

Love with all its various meanings is one of the most often repeat words in the Bible. The Bible has three major divisions of love. They are phileo, agapeo, and agape. These three divisions overlap in some ways and stand distantly separate in others.

G5368 phileo, fil-eh'-o; from 5384; to be a friend to (fond of an individual or an object),i.e. have affection for (denoting personal attachment, as a matter of sentiment or feeling; while G25 is wider, embracing especially the judgement and the deliberate assent of the will as a matter of principal, duty and propriety; the two thus stand related very much as 2309 and 1014, or as 2372 and 3563 respectively; the former being chiefly of the heart and the latter of the head); spec. to kiss (as a mark of tenderness): - kiss, love.

Here are some verses to study on phileo:

Mat. 6:5 love to be seen praying (admiration of men and pride) Mat. 23:6 love the uppermost rooms, chief seats(admiration of men, pride) Luke 20:46 scribes love long robes, love greetings (for admiration of men) John 15:19 the world loves its own (have accepted rule of men) John 21:15 Do you love me? (for the benefits I give & admiration of others) John 21:16-17 same as above (proof of love for Jesus is feeding His sheep) I Cor. 16:22 those who do not love Jesus are accursed Titus 3:15 greet those who love me in the faith Rev. 3:19 as many as the Lord loves he rebukes and chastens

G5384 philos, fee'-los; prop. dear, i.e. a friend; act fond, i.e. friendly (still as a noun, an associate, neighbor, etc.): - friend.

It would seem that in this stage of our growth toward Godly love, we are predominately interested in ourselves (selfish), getting others to accept us (rejection and feelings of inferiority) and the benefits (greed) we get from our decisions. This is the kind of love we have when we are first born, the world revolves around us and our needs, and that is all we are interested in. It's like when we say, "I love apple pie", or "I'd love to be president", or "I'd love it if everyone liked me."

If we are Christians, we might feel like we would like to have a world - wide ministry so that we can help people (really it is often a way to try to satisfy rejection or pride). We want people to admire, approve and accept us (worship from men). There actually is nothing really wrong with liking apple pie, having high goals, or wanting people to like us, or having a world wide ministry. The problem comes in when we do these things not in obedience to God but for admiration of men or if we are trying to show we are the best.

I feel that in John 21:15-17 that Jesus knowing Simon Peter so well and knowing the way Peter had reacted to the things that had just happened is possibly leading him through these three main areas of love. Peter, like us, needed to really look into our motivations for service to Jesus and our expectations in regard to Jesus Christ.

We need to consider our walk with Him. He says that if we put our hand to the plow and look back to the things we left behind, we will be unfit for the Kingdom of God, Luke 9:62. If a person keeps looking back longingly to the things he left behind when he became a Christian, he will always find an excuse to go back to them. This longing will be an invitation to demon attack. Peter had quickly gone back to fishing; he was hot tempered and a braggart. He did not know himself nor his motivations. He really had not evaluated the worth of Jesus nor the value of his relationship to Him. He is still thinking of Peter only. He is not yet mature in his ability to love.

Jesus' desire for Peter was to teach others about the love Jesus had given him: to love with an unselfish love those who would try and fail and to know from experience how to get up and go at it again and again. We can see in verse 22 that Peter has a way to go because he asks about John's future. By the way Jesus answers him, we know Peter was maybe a little jealous of John, competing with John or insecure in his own relation to Jesus. Peter will not be of much use to the Kingdom of God if he does not come to understand what is in him and deal with those things in a scriptural manner. You see we are supposed to have died to our selfish life when we accepted Jesus Christ as our savior. Dead men are not jealous, competing or fearful, etc.

G25 agapao, ag-ap-ah'-o; perh. from agan (much) or comp. H5689 to love sensually, dote, lover; to love in a moral sense: beloved, loved, love. Comp. H5368 which corresponds to H5367 meaning to entrap (with a noose) lit. or fig.; - catch. lay a snare.

This level of love is of better quality than phileo. It covers a wider range from its lower level to its higher. It can be seen that the Christian is moving from a love that is purely selfish and self serving to a little more generous love.

Studying these and other related scriptures will give a better understanding of this level of love: Mat. 5:43-46, John 14:15, II Ti. 4:8, III John 1, Mat. 6:24, John 14:21, 23, 31, James 1:12, Mark 12:33, John 15:12, 17, James 2:5, 8, Luke 6:27, Rom. 8:28, I Pet. 1:8, 22, Luke 6:32, Rom. 13:8-9, I Pet. 2:17, Luke 6:35, I Cor. 2:9, I Pet. 3:10, Luke 10;27, II Cor. 12:15, I John 2:15, Luke 11:43, Eph. 5:25, 28, 33, I John 3:11, 14, 18, 23, John 8:42, Eph. 6:24, I John 4:7, 11, 19-21, John 10:17, Col. 3:19, I John 5:2, John 13:34, I Th. 4:9, II John 1, 5,

Here is just a sampling of these verses. Mat. 22:37, 39 Jesus said unto him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind (intellect). (Deut. 6:5) And the second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as (you do) yourself. (Lev. 19:18)

Mat. 5:44 But I tell you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. This one like the last one is a big order for us when we first begin to try to love ( Prov. 25:21,22).

John 14:21 The person who has My commandants and keeps them is the one who (really) loves Me, and whoever (really) loves Me will be loved by My Father. And I (too) will love him and will show (reveal, manifest) Myself to him - I will let Myself be clearly seen by him and make Myself real to him.

At the start of this level of love, we are beginning to give out a more unselfish love to other people. We are trying to learn to love outwardly. We are still trying to get things properly organized in our mind.

As a teacher, I have had many children pass by my desk. After many years and many children, I could almost tell you without fail the nature of the family they came from. Children, who have not received proper bonding with parents in a loving family relationship or who have been really rejected, will take up strange, wild, and sometimes bazaar and crazy behavior to try to make themselves feel okay.

A lot of children rebel because that is the only way to get any attention, thus training himself or herself in bad or outrageous behavior. Children learn what you and they live. They do not learn what you teach, unless what you teach is the same as what you live. With what attitude do you fix the meals, clean the house, and meet regular daily problems? With what attitude does dad go off to work? Does Dad express an attitude of gratitude to God for his work? How does he approach his job as teacher, disciplinary and leader of the family? Does dad come home and show his dissatisfaction with everything and everybody? Are his first words of peace and joy, or are they harsh, uncaring and uninterested?

I was an abused child until I was around ten to twelve years old. Somehow by the mercy of God that slipped from my memory. I can remember saying this when I was going to have my first child, "I will never, never touch them when I am really, really angry." I said this over and over to myself. If I had been alert, I should have caught a clue that something was wrong but I didn't. I was not to find out about the abuse until I was fifty years old. It did effect me, my life and my families' life.

I made a commitment to them that they should know that I really enjoyed and wanted them. If we do not give our children a sense of belonging to us and that we want them with us, we will help turn them to drugs, sex perversions, cults, occult, to tremendous and unnatural attempts to feel a sense of belonging, to get power, attention and money. Then we turn on them. If a person doesn't have a feeling of belonging, many times they will find it difficult to feel that they belong to God or that He could love them. If we or our children have been manipulated by conditional love, we will feel that God will only love us if we are perfect.

G26 agape, ag-ah'-pay; from 25; love, i.e. affection of benevolence; spec. (plur.) a love feast: - (feast of) charity, charitably, dear, love.

John 15:13 No one has greater - no one has shown greater affection - than to lay (give up) his own life for his friends. This verse shows human action motivated by agape love. It does not require you to lay down your life carelessly. It might require you to be show love, compassion and understanding in the face of rejection.

Rom. 5:8 But God shows and clearly proves His (own) love for us by the fact that while we were still sinners Christ, the Messiah, the Anointed One, died for us.

Luke 11:42 But woe to you, Pharisees! for you tithe mint and rue and every (little) herb, and disregard and neglect justice and the love of God. These you ought to have done without leaving the others undone. (Lev. 27:30; Mic. 6:8) We seem to place to much emphasis on trivial things and not enough on the most important things like love, mercy and justice.

Rom. 13:10 Love does no wrong to one's neighbor - it never hurts anybody. Therefore love meets all the requirements and is the fulfilling of the Law.

Gal. 5:22-23 But the fruit of the (Holy) Spirit, (the work which His presence within accomplishes) is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness; (Meekness, humility) gentleness, self-control (self-restraint, continence). against such things there is no law (that can bring a charge). Love mentioned here is agape. I wonder if any of us would be judged a follower of Jesus if this verse alone were applied to us. This verse will clearly show us where we stand and where and how we need to grow.

See these verses for agape love:

Mat. 24:12, Eph. 1:4, 15, Philem. 5, 7, Luke 11:42, Eph. 2:4, Heb. 6:10, John 5:42, Eph. 3:17, 19, Heb. 10:24, John 15:9, 10, 13, Eph. 4:2, 15,16, I John 2:5, 15, John 17:26, Eph. 5:2, I John 3:1, 16, 17, Rom. 5:5, 8, Eph. 6:23, I John 4:7-10, 12, 16-18, Rom. 8:35, 39, Phil. 1:9, 17, I John 5:3, Rom. 12:9, Phil. 2:1, 2, II John 3, 6, Rom. 13:10, Col. 1:4, 8, Jude 2, 21, Rom. 15:30, Col. 2:2, Rev. 2:4, I Cor. 4:21, I Thes. 1:3, I Cor. 16:24, I Thes. 3:12, II Cor. 2:4, 8, I Thes. 5:8, 13, II Cor. 5:14, II Thes. 2:10, II Cor. 6:6, II Thes. 3:5, II Cor. 8:7, 8, 24, I Tim. 1:14, II Cor. 13:11, 14, I Tim. 6:11, Gal. 5:6, 13, 22, II Tim. 1:7, 13,

Children learn about love in every day experiences. They see your attitude as you do your work, care for them and teach them. Parents give the first and most lasting pictures of love. Lack of experiencing proper and enduring love in the home will leave children with a need to search for love. This need will help make them a prey to phony love, and opens them to great suffering as they try to feel the love they have never had. These children will be prey for cults, both Christian and non-Christian. Drugs, sex, power and the occult will have an extremely strong attraction for them.

The greatest hindrance to giving and receiving love is rejection followed by bitterness and rebellion. Rejection is first experienced in the family situation. For most of us, rejection comes so early in life that we have no idea how to handle it. Rejection cuts us off from other people and from God. People usually relate to other people the way they related to their parents, especially the way they related to their father.

When we think people reject us, we have a hard time feeling close to them. If you have a hard time feeling close to God, you need to examine yourself to see if you have dealt with the rejection in your life. I feel rejection is the Devil's number - one trump card which he plays on everyone. He used it on Jesus Christ from birth to death. He will use it on you too. You will not escape. Even if you know your parents love you, he will come and pick some action of theirs and tell you lies about their love for you. Using a child's limited knowledge and understanding, he will make suggestions that if they loved you they would do what you wanted them to do. He'll suggest they love another child more than you.

Bitterness is the most common reaction to rejection. It includes such things as feeling hurt, resentment, hatred, retaliation, etc. After these have a good hold in you life, rebellion is the next step. When we get into rebellion, we do not want to be entreated, change our mind or accept love.

Study the characters in the Old Testament. You can watch rejection go swiftly into bitterness and then rebellion. Then the door is wide open for demon invasion. See Absalom for wrong handling of rejection and Joseph for right handling of it. Absalom's rejection resulted in death. Joseph's resulted in life for himself, those who rejected him and a whole nation.

I would like to share some things I have had to learn and do to grow in love. I Cor. 13 is a portion of scripture we know from memory but do not know from the heart. I had known them but could never see how I could ever do them. I never grew much in them until after I confronted rejection, cast him out and learned to live without him. I have often considered my lack of growth in love and repented. I have had to forgive myself for being so lazy and careless. I would read this portion and comment to God, "This is absolutely, totally impossible." Rejection fought to keep me from understanding.

I would keep score of those who offended me and I saw to it that I got even, sometimes more than even. I didn't know that my thoughts were demon sent. I would plot with them to get even with this person publicly. Just as we plotted, it would come to past. This is the state of love in my life when I became aware that I Cor. 13 applied to me. Up to then I figured it only applied to someone else. At best my ability to love was below the lowest level, and how could God require me to do these things? I would read these verses and work on myself. Progress seemed so painfully slow but one day I noticed there were changes in me. I saw a little growth; I was beginning to grow up a little in love. I might add that learning to forgive freely from you heart will help make room for love to flourish. How do you learn to love, forgive, repent? You begin to do it. We learn both good and bad habits by practice. So start practicing today.

I Corinthians Chapter 13 - 1. If I (can) speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as inspired by God's love for and in us), I am only a noisy or a clanging symbol.

If we ever grow in love, we will have to use our reasoning power which God gave us. Some people (usually those who want to weasel out of the hard work of study, learning, discipline, and obedience) say bypass the mind. It seems God would rather we use it in a disciplined manner for He will not bypass it. He has not asked for a company of robots but for followers, who by disciplined mind, follow and obey because they have chosen to do so. I often felt like a noisy, clanging symbol going around making a lot of noise accomplishing no real growth.

It's not a matter of can you speak in tongues, interrupt tongues or be very impressive in open meetings. It's what you do when you are not speaking in tongues, what you think and plan on doing when you are all alone in the dark, and you know no body is looking or present (we forget God is looking). Are you, like me, flirting around with retaliation? Are you thinking, "Lord bless those who hurt me, forgive them Lord, give them all the Grace and Mercy they need". I want to be forgiven, so I freely forgive (Matt. 6:12-15; Matt. 18:35). I have learned to obey another verse that tells me to pray for those who despitefully use me. Forgive, bless them and curse not.

2. And if I have prophetic powers - that is, the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose; and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have (sufficient) faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God's love in me) I an nothing - a useless nobody.

I have never moved any physical mountains. I know that my prayers and action, added together with others, have moved spiritual forces that have been arrayed against us and others. As for prophetic powers, I have never to my knowledge been used in that way. I do not understand tongues when they are given in the congregation, yet I can recognize if it is not right even before it is interpreted I do not understand why that is. I do understand more of the truth of God than I did years ago yet I feel lacking in a through knowledge of all mysteries. When we say we have great knowledge of secret truths and mysteries and we don't exercise love, mercy and justice we, just fool ourselves.

3. Even if I dole out all that I have (to the poor in providing) food, and if I surrender my body to be burned (or in order that I may glory), but have not love (God's love in me). I gain nothing.

After Gene, Marie and I lost Byron and returned to Baton Rouge, Gene would dole out everything we had to anybody who came and stood in the pulpit. We used to have fighting matches right in the congregation.

One time a man came through giving a very pitiful plea. When I saw Gene going for his checkbook, I got almost violent. He told me to be quiet and behave myself because people were looking at me. I was angry because I didn't like that man. I felt he was manipulating the congregation, that he was a complete phony. I repented until I was sick of repenting but I never could shake the feeling he was a phony (turned out he was). I thought I was on my way to Hell because I was thinking these things about one of God's anointed men. I still believe we had better be very careful about what we say about any Christian. I was to learn that in a small way I had begun to discern spirits.

At that time, Gene thought that by giving away all we earned, he could make up to God for all the times he had neglected his duty to God in the past. I was also guilty; I was into giving things away. We were both moved by demon spirits of guilt and failure. We didn't feel quiet up to par; we didn't realize that God had already forgiven us for our failures.

Here in verse 4, He begins to deal with me as a wife and mother. Before He had dealt with things outside the home, but now He narrows His focus. He gets right down to where I am.

4. Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy; is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.

Now we are really getting into my area. I am of German, English, French, and American Indian background. If you know anything about these nationalities, you know that patience and enduring long is not one of their nicer qualities. I could get extremely violent inside. If it did come outside, my whole family would scatter. Patience and kindness were not virtues of mine. I had grown up in a family of five brothers. To hold my own with them, I developed a sharp tongue. I could come back at them very quickly with my tongue. I actually was more kind with actions than with my tongue. I became aware that I would give an account of every idle word.

Love never is envious. After I married Gene, he bought me some of the finest homes in some of the nicest sections of the best southern cities and furnished them well. I didn't realize I had come to love these things, that I felt better about myself because of things.

When we changed our life-style, I found I was envying all of my friends who lived where I had and still had the big houses (boiling over with jealously) . I didn't want them to come into my neighborhood to see me. Envy grows very rapidly; before long I would say again and again how much I hated the house. I began to roam all over town going to ladies' Christian meetings because I didn't want to be in the house. The meetings didn't do me any good. After deliverance I saw that in many cases they were places where Jezebels went to try to impress each other and get out of their duties. I no longer desired to attend; it became more important to me for me to obey God in completing my God given duties.

Having suffered a lot of rejection, I was boastful and vain. I would not wear anything bought from the store. I didn't want to see anyone else wear what I wore. I became a fine seamstress designing and making my own clothes. I justified my attitude by saying it saved a lot of money. Here we see that doing these things was not wrong but the motives were wrong.

I was haughty. I came from the mountains of Tennessee and my parents were probably lower - middle class. When I got into a "better class" of people, I no longer wanted to be with the ones I grew up with. If you came to church "all fixed-up just right", drove a car at least as good as mine, I'd have something to do with you. Otherwise I didn't have time for you. Does not display its self haughtily. I pleaded guilty. Men have these problems as much as women. You've seen them all decked out, smelling like a rose, velvet lapels and studded buttons, but their wives look and smell like a "haint" (mountain word). Fellows don't sit there saying, "O those poor little pitiful women". You can have these demons just a big as we can.

5. It is not conceited - arrogant and inflated with pride; it is not rude (unmannerly), and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it - pays no attention suffered wrong.

I was very conceited, arrogant, inflated with pride. If you had stuck a pin in me, you'd have let out about a hundred gallons of hot air. Not only did Gene put me in fine homes, I was talented in art, and with the sewing machine and needle. I'd go to work, I "had" to decorate mine prettier than the rest on that street.

Is not rude. Now I would have said I was not rude but in the Amplified there in parenthesis is a little word unmannerly. I used manners to get what I wanted. If manners didn't work, I could be very unmannerly.

Does not act unbecomingly. Guess there's no need to try to explain that considering the above.

Love (God's love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way. Gene was not one to give in to my whims. He didn't make a very good Ahab but I was a pretty good Jezebel. There was some pretty good knocking of heads at our house as I worked quietly and manipulatively to get my way. I learned when Gene was around to do what he said and be very co-operative, but when he was no longer around, I did what I pleased. I had learned just how far to go and not get into trouble. Gene and I had word wars over my rights (how not to endure yourself to your husband). The last sixteen years have seen few of these wars.

Does not insist on its own way. I felt that my way was the best and only right way. I was to live and reap some bad results of getting my way. Sometimes I am right but now I pray and ask God to show Gene if I am right. After I pray, I don't bother trying to get Gene to agree with me. Often I see later how bad the results would have been if we had done as I wanted. I have learned to trust God first and Gene second. God was to show me how I had allowed the Jezebel spirit to needle Gene and break his confidence. We can pollute those around us when we insist on satisfying our greed, having our rights and own way.

Is not self-seeking. I wanted everything for my family. I had excused greed and covetousness by saying it was for others. I went to great lengths to get everything for my family. If Gene had not balanced me, our children could have been ruined by age two.

It is not touchy or fretful or resentful. I had probably the best grade of all humans in each of these. If Gene or anyone rubbed me the wrong way, I could decide to give them the cold treatment and could carry it to great lengths. Touchy? Just don't touch me the wrong way. I learned it was not necessary to react to rejection. I learned to pray that God would bless the one who rejected or was unkind to me. Often I'd hear latter of some problem they had faced at that very time.

I could fret over everything. If I didn't have anything of my own to fret over, I'd find something of yours and fret over that until I got you to fretting over it too.

Resentful. I kept score of all the things people did to me and could recall the incident and words twenty years later. Retaliation is the natural result of resentment.

Takes no account of the evil done to it - pays no attention to a suffered wrong. I cannot say that I never see what is done against me but for the majority of the times I am unaware of it. Lately someone will have to point it out to me. This is such a relief for the mind; just think of all the effort I put into keeping all those resentful accounts. I believe these two phrases, if put into practice, would probably remake and restore most marriages. My practice was to make Gene suffer if he made me suffer. Does that sound like not returning evil for evil? I learned that God is keeping score so I don't have to bother.

6. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.

Romans 1:32 Though they are fully aware of God's righteous decree that those who do such things (see verses 20-31) deserve to die, they not only do them themselves but approve and applaud others who practice them. God has set up a system of perfect justice. When we rejoice over or are a part of injustice, we are in direct opposition to God. He is also perfect in righteousness, therefore for our own good, we should agree with Him and with the rightness of His orders. We should rejoice when right and truth win the struggle with wrong and lies. We should pray for and help those who fall in their Christian life. Tomorrow we may need our brothers and sisters support in prayer and love.

7. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances and it endures everything (without weakening).

Right before I got the first deliverance, I was threatening divorce. I was not bearing up under anything and everything that came. While it was true I had suffered greatly because of Byron's death, I had not yet resisted sin to the shedding of blood. I was engaging in a lot of sin. However, it was nice acceptable sins like self-indulgence etc. I didn't want to leave because I no longer loved Gene but because he would not do everything I wanted him too. In the years to come I was to learn to bear up under a lot of real problems both in the family and in work. I learned I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Is ready to believe the best of every person. This was not one of my virtues. When you are abused over and over by those who are supposed to protect you, you learn to distrust everyone until they have proved beyond every doubt that they will under no circumstance fail you. Since this is an impossible demand to make on another person, you find yourself more and more filled with distrust. It gets to the point you don't comprehend that you do not trust anyone. I remember the day I came to realize I didn't trust Gene. It was on the subconscious level.

Its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances. Back then you could dash my hopes just a little, I would fall apart at the seams and get in the dumps very easy. I never realized I should hope in God and not in worldly things. I am happy to tell you that since I have placed my hope in God and thank Him for all His goodness to me, I do not get depressed. Praise God.

It endures everything without weakening. I have learned that there is no need to cave in at the threat or presence of trouble or persecution. God has made us much stronger than we think we are. There is strength in the time of trouble and a sure foundation in God. He keeps His promises. I have learned that everything the Devil tries to do to me, God can bring a lot of good out of it. So I have purposed to just stand therefore.

8. Love never fails - never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end. As for prophecy (that is, the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away (that is, it will lose its value and be superseded by truth).

My desire is to grow up in God's love. This love is not talking about the kind of love where you get what you want for yourself or your group, to look good or to impress others. If we desire to speak in tongues or to prophesy for admiration of others, we can very well get a gift of pretending or divination. Both of these operate freely in churches. Even the real God - inspired utterance in tongues and real God - inspired prophecy will not be needed when we are in His presence. So what will endure for all time? Only God's kind of love.

13. And so faith, hope, love abide; (faith, conviction and belief respecting man's relation to God and divine things; hope, joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love, true affection for God and man, growing out of God's love for and in us), these three, but the greatest of these is love. This verse needs no explanation.

Eze. 33:31 And they come to you as people come, and they sit before you as my people, (just like we do) and hear the words you say, but they will not do them; (just like us) for with their mouth they show much love, ("Hug everyone and tell them you love them." If you have to be told to do, it you probably don't mean it. How about all that show of praise to God but acting like the Devil when you think no one is looking) but their heart goes after and is set on their (idolatrous greed for) gain. This means doing the commandants not just memorizing them. We (many Christians) are so greedy for gain that we refuse to have children. We say we can't afford them.

FORGIVENESS AND REPENTANCE - We have found that forgiveness and repentance are essentials to prepare for deliverance. Does this mean that you will have to totally forgive everybody, including yourself, everything before God will began a work in you? Of course not, but you must be true hearted and honest. As you are made aware of unforgiveness., you must act to forgive freely from the heart (Mat. 18:18-35). Repentance must be sincere enough to bring Godly grief which will strengthen you to resolve to not enter that sinful area again.

When God presented the area of deliverance to us I did not know how to forgive and had no knowledge that I would have to do further repenting after salvation.

There are many things in our life that we fail to bring to God at the time we decide to follow Jesus. Part of the working out of our salvation with fear and trembling comes in these areas. Put simply, forgiving another does not mean you will not remember what was done to you. You will evaluate it according to what Jesus has done for you and count the offence to you as having no value at all (Mat. 18:18-35).

I have one friend in particular; we had both done things to each other that hurt. I asked forgiveness for my part in it and forgave her; and now we are very good friends. Do we remember? Yes, but we are both stronger because we have forgiven. We value each other and the understanding we have received because we put the instructions of the Bible to the test and they work!

I asked God to help me understand unforgiveness. and this came to me, "Earline, look at think of all these things you have held against people as old dead stinky fish. You have been carrying them around with you all these years. It stinketh. Why don't you put them down, let them go and walk on without them?" I thought I understand that perfectly; I can do that. So I began to forgive. The demons in their attempts to get you back into unforgiveness. will bring up things long forgotten - no need to get upset or fret, be glad they gave themselves away (they are not totally smart) and forgive promptly. While I was learning this lesson people, would do me wrong, treat me unfair or lie about me.

I would think of getting even and would find, Vengeance is mine I will repay sayeth the Lord. I'd stew and fume for a few days and work on forgiving. When I finally could forgive freely from my heart, I felt very clean and strong where I had felt very depressed and weak before I could forgive.

God will use many incidences in our lives to teach us to have greater understanding and love. Gene and I went to Louisiana Training Institute for about two and one - half years. Our plans were not to stay there longer than three meetings. We were to go and help the young people from our church become established there as missionaries or teachers. Our plans were to leave the project in the hands of those who had planned it. On the third visit which was to be our last (we thought), there were no young people to meet us when we arrived, thinking we were late, we went back to the Diagnostic Center. No one was outside, so we went to our respective centers.

When the man guard the door to the place I went to, in my shock I saw no other people from our church. I felt a few moments panic as they locked the door behind me and I realized I was there to stay until the door was unlocked. I had not prepared to teach, neither did I want to. Even though I had been a rebel, I had no sympathy for those who went this far. I asked to leave but the guard asked me to please stay since the boys were waiting to hear. Being desperate I sent up a frantic prayer, "O Lord what shall I teach about? I don't understand these kind of people." I thought I heard something like this, "You might ask them about how long they planed, worked and saved their money to come to this place?". Being desperate, I asked. They poked their fingers, laughed, fell onto the floor and rolled. It must have taken the guard ten minutes or more to get them back in order. I still had no subject so I asked again what to talk about? This time I thought I heard, "Ask who made a fool of you then?" To me this didn't sound any better than the last one, but I thought, "Why not?" This time no laughter.

I felt I should share some simple verses that had helped me. Mat. 19:19, The Bible says to love your neighbor as you love yourself; most of us do just that. By the way you have treated yourself, I know I wouldn't want to live beside you. Romans 6:16, You are here because you have yielded yourself to the wrong master.

After two and one-half years I can tell you that I had learned to love those boys. If Gene would have let me, I would have taken them all home with me. I also learned that improper love experiences had brought them there.

The desire of my heart is to taste the things that God has made available for me. I have finally learned not to listen and then go away and forget all I have heard. I usually have a little note pad to write down the scriptures I hear and later I will study them. I will use the computer to check them all out and see if you knew what you were talking about. My desire is to learn how to love as God expects me to. I have learned to love a lot of you people because I have gotten to know you. My desire is to learn to love others without needing to know them. I haven't completed my training yet but I've come a long way from the beginning. I had to learn to receive from God. My father did not speak to me in a loving way. He issued orders most of the time. At fifteen years old, he said something to me that made me realize he loved me. I really felt afraid to allow myself to accept that he loved me after all those years of growing up thinking no one did. Later it was to mean a great deal to me.

Having taken care of myself most of my life, I had developed a very independent spirit. Frank Hammond was teaching on deliverance and called out an independent spirit. My legs jerked violently and the back of my legs hurt for a week. I learned that God likes a independent spirit as long as it is in right relationship to Him.

When you haven't been taught the right way to love, you probably will not be able to teach love in the right way. What do you do? I began to pray that God would teach me as I read and studied the Bible how to love others in my family.

When our daughter was thirteen years old, I began to ask God to show me how to love her and relate to her. I thought I heard, "Earline you can love her unconditionally and become her greatest rooter. Don't cut her up and spit her out, but love, teach, and lead her." The Lord promises in James 1 to give wisdom if we ask and I began to ask.

If there is anyone here who needs to learn to love in a Godly, unconditional, proper way, let's pray about it. I will lead you in a prayer but you will have to be honest with yourself and God. No one can forgive, hope, walk out your deliverance, or say no to the demons but you. In this walk with God, we have to do our part of the covenant ourselves. We give each other a lot of help but in the end we go home to face the demons alone with God. You must forgive, you have no choice not to. Read and study Mat. 18.

Parents get in order so that you children will see the value of God and His love for you and them. Show them how the Kingdom of God really works so that they will want to live their whole life by Godly precepts. You have to want to follow God and His ways more than you want your dinner tonight. If you don't want Him that much, you will never grow very much.

You must forgive yourself and learn to love yourself properly. One day I was reminded to ask God to forgive me for the things I had done to others that showed a lack of love.

TEACHING - I taught both in public and Christian private schools. I saw that children of Christians were for the most part as rejected as those on the street. I watched and many went to the streets. Don't think that because you are a Christian, your children will automatically follow Jesus. Unless you really live what you say, you make the Christian life meaningless to them. Does this mean you must be perfect? No! It does mean you should be sincere, honest, and use Bible means to correct your actions. Children are most forgiving when you show them you are sincere. If you do not give them the love, discipline and leadership they need, they will find someone else to follow.

PRAYER - We have learned to repent and forgive in preparation for deliverance. Be honest with yourself and God: Dear Heavenly Father, I come to you now in the name of Jesus Christ to ask for your help and guidance at this time. I want to thank you for loving me enough to die for me so that I might have your life. I thank you for continuing to teach me to understand your love. I thank you for forgiving me for holding unforgiveness. against others, you and myself. I do now forgive these people .... freely from my heart, I also forgive myself in like manner. I will forgive all others as the Holy Spirit reminds me of them. I repent of using the fear of loosing my love to dominate others, to get them to do what I want them to. I repent of manipulating others. I repent of rejecting others, especially those in my family, and causing them to feel the loss of love. I repent of loving the admiration of the world and for doing crazy things to try to get love. I repent of not loving myself properly as one of your creations. I have loved myself and others in the phileo sense and not in an unselfish and Godly way. I now let go of all resentment and bitterness which I have held against people for rejecting me. I break the curse of incest, bastard and occult on me and my family line. As I go through deliverance, help me to understand how these demons have worked me in the past and how I have used them to work on others. Help me to make amends where you tell me to. Help me to understand more about your kind of love and help me see how to work this love into my life. In Jesus Christ's name I pray, Amen.

LIST OF DEMONS TO CAST OUT IN THE NAME OF JESUS

Cast out demons after you have forgiven and repented. It is good to begin with the list on Rejection, Bitterness and Rebellion in Basic Deliverance and Schizophrenia. See also chapters on Mind and Family. Take time to let the Holy Spirit lead you since everyone has their particular problems. You will discover demons not on the list. The list is for those commonly found associated with these problems. It is good to read scriptures on deliverance during the deliverance sessions.

Lying, Unstable, Fear, Fighting, Fear of loss of love, Unlovable, Pouting, Violent, Fear of being loved, Sly, Cursing, Victim, Demonic manipulation, Cunning, Berating, Alcohol, Drugs, Torment, Suicide, Morbid, Coldhearted, Beating, Lonely, Witchcraft, Unfeeling, Guilt, Inferiority, Uncalled for laughter, Unstable, Destruction, Timid, Silly, Loveless, Jezebel, Shy, Foolishness, Don't Care, Ahab, Suspicious, Pride,