GENERAL
- This lesson is not meant to encourage Jezebel and
Ahab, but to help men and women work together for
mutual good. It is God's plan for every one of his
creatures to develop to full potential. Our aim here
is to encourage communication, planning and
development. After all, if the family is to show the
world a picture of Christ and His Church, we all know
we have a lot of work to do. On the whole, the picture
Christians present to the world does not encourage
them to get saved. When these duties come before God,
we have begun to become Jezebelic. God is first;
duties are second.
Have you ever spent
much time in study about being a Godly wife and
mother? I spent the first ten years of my marriage and
parenthood trying to put into practice all I knew
about being a good wife and mother mostly learned from
the world. Of course I had been trained in the
principles of the Bible but I had received very little
practical instruction on how to incorporate the
teachings into my daily life. I had been called the
super mom and wife, and I was out to prove it was so.
I was struggling to do every thing better than you.
One of my frequent thoughts was "anything you can do,
I can do better" never realizing this came from trying
to satisfy rejection.
One observation I
have made throughout the years is that women tend to
allow themselves to be led into "spiritualizing" the
Bible. While it is true it is a spiritual book, it is
mainly a practical book for every day life. It seems
that all spiritual truths parallel natural truths. An
example: as a young Spirit- filled Christian, I
witnessed some strange phenomena. One thing I saw
greatly puzzled me. I saw women lock very young
children outside and hold prayer meetings until late
evening neither feeding the children, allowing them
into the house to use the bathroom or supervising
their fights. Some of these women began to engage in
homosexuality. Of these children, one is dead of
bizarre circumstances, some gave birth to illegitimate
children and more than one has had problems with
drugs. I felt at that time and still do now that this
was a case of spiritual fantasy. God says we must
first be faithful in mammon (which is not only money
but time, earthly duties, thoughts, priority, home and
personal relationships) before He will give us
spiritual duties.
SCRIPTURE Proverbs
31:10-31 was very helpful to me as I struggled to
become a more practical Christian wife and mom. I will
share some of the things I learned.
10. A capable,
intelligent, and virtuous woman, who is he who can
find her? She is more precious than jewels, and her
value is far above rubies or pearls. [Pro.12:4; 18:22;
19:14.] The verse seems to imply this type of woman is
rare. This made me want to become one more than ever.
I know this picture of a lovely wife is drawn from
Eastern customs so I asked the Lord to help me
implement its moral and spiritual meanings into my
modern American life.
First, I saw that I
must change my attitude about myself. If I am to
become this wife, I must begin to see myself becoming
her. I knew I was capable, intelligent and virtuous
[maybe a little less than perfect, maybe a little
tarnished]. Now I see the Bible says I am very
precious. I must not think of myself as worthless
anymore. Am I thinking, behaving as one who is
precious? There are many corrections to be made in my
attitudes, priorities and behavior. Would one who is
precious give way to tormenting fears and anger or be
irrational, lazy, unrealistic, greedy etc.? Men, do
you consider your wife more valuable than rubies?
Wives, do you consider yourself valuable?
11. The heart of her
husband trusts in her confidently and relies on and
believes in her safety, so that he has no lack of
honest gain or need of
dishonest spoil. A
husband should never have the distraction of worrying
about his wife's conduct or faithfulness [ nor she
his]. He can rely on her wise use of the money he
earns; she will not be coveting material things beyond
their means.
She will remember to
be grateful to God for the husband and the provisions
the husband has obtained, so that there is no need for
the husband to seek wealth in an evil or unlawful
manner [Isa.3:16-26.]
12. She will
comfort, encourage and do him only good as long as
there is life within her. I will not nag but encourage
and be enthusiastic about our progress. I will not
bring my husband harm or embarrassment by behavior ,
words or actions.
At that time I was
given a copy of the Amplified Bible. It helped me to
understand how I should think about and relate to my
husband. Lest you begin to get upset, let me tell you
that relating to your husband and children is meant to
be an enriching experience.
See I Peter 3:1-7.
In verse 2, I found an overall picture of what it is
all about: "When they observe the pure and modest way
in which you conduct yourselves, together with your
reverence [for your husband. That is, you are to feel
for him all that reverence includes] - to respect,
defer to, revere him; [revere means] to honor, esteem(
appreciate, prize), and [in the human sense] adore
him; [and adore means] to admire, praise, be devoted
to, deeply love and enjoy [your husband]." Does this
sound like slavery? I don't think so. And to think the
ladies who were instructed to do this did not often
have any choice in the selection of their husbands.
How much more shall it be required of us, seeing we
are given the freedom to chose our mate? Many unsaved
husbands have many very good qualities and a saved
wife should recognize and appreciate these qualities.
By letting him know you recognize and appreciate him
many a husband gets saved. Ingratitude to God and the
people around you will be a deterrent to their
salvation.
13. She seeks our
the wool and flax and works with willing hands to
develop it. Women are endowed with great ability to
work and produce goods. If a husband does not believe
this, I challenge him to encourage, honor and respect
her, and he will see [ many men bite and devour their
wives and then wonder why they cannot be what they
should be]. When I began to try this, Gene began to
complement and encourage me. His encouragement was
like fresh coal to a roaring fire. I was more
determined than ever to succeed and I was enjoying
every bit of progress I made. I began to do more
careful buying of cloth both for clothes and
decorating.
Women are endowed
with great ability to work and produce goods. If a
husband does not believe this, I challenge him to
encourage, honor and respect her, and he will see [
many men bite and devour their wives and then wonder
why they cannot be what they should be]. When I began
to try this, Gene began to complement and encourage
me. His encouragement was like fresh coal to a roaring
fire. I was more determined than ever to succeed and I
was enjoying every bit of progress I made. I began to
do more careful buying of cloth both for clothes and
decorating.
14. She is like the
merchant ships loaded with foodstuffs, she brings her
household's food from a far [country]. I saw a bumper
sticker on a car which read "Born to Shop". Ladies,
right here is your charge to shop very wisely. I was
to give attention to the prudent (shrewd in the
management of practical affairs) buying, preparing and
storing of food. Canning and freezing foods during
times of plentiful supply will save many dollars. The
food you carefully put up will be more nutritious than
that you buy.
15. She rises while
yet it is night and gets spiritual food for her
household and assigns her maids their tasks. [Job
23:12.] According to Jamieson's Commentary, this verse
means to diligently attend to expanding as well as
gathering wealth. I believe that is true but I also
believe it includes the whole of the family as well as
material wealth. This was applied to me this way.
Since I had always been prudent in money and product
matters, I was lacking in prudently working with the
people in the family and helping develop them. I
needed to have a time during each 24 - hour day to
read my Bible, pray and seek God's Wisdom, implement
it in my life and teach His Wisdom to my children.
Most of us do not
have maidens to assign tasks to but it occurred to me
I have children who need to learn to contribute to the
family good and to learn to take care of their own
needs. Since I had not yet gotten myself well
disciplined, I made a chart of their duties for each
day so that I would remember each day's duties. As we
made progress, we began to see a more smoothly run
household. Plus I watched the children grow in
self-discipline, have better attitudes and respect
each other more.
I watched a little
dyslexic, slightly brain - damaged, daughter begin to
succeed. She was applying the principals of consistent
discipline and hard work; and she was winning. Her
accomplishments include graduating from L.S.U. with a
high average in pre - med. All of which we had been
told she would never be able to do.
16. She considers a
new field before she buys or accepts it - expanding
prudently [and not courting neglect of her present
duties by assuming others]. With her savings [of time
and strength] she plants fruitful vines in her
vineyard. [ S. of Sol. 8:12.] I was not to run
headlong into things but I was to carefully consider
each new activity and consult with my husband. Ask
myself if I will be able to include this new activity
in my life and not neglect my present God given duties
of cleaning, child rearing, food preparation etc. If I
could not work it in with out neglect, then I should
pass it up for now. I should be allowed to keep some
proceeds from my industry and there by have money to
purchase property etc. By teaching my children to
participate in family work, I found I had time to
become interested in other things. When Marie was 15
years old, I had a craft business [this was something
I had always wanted to do]. When I saw it was time to
close it, I did; it had served its purpose in our
life. Your vineyard may be your children or husband;
it may not be a grape vineyard.
17. She girds
herself with strength [spiritual, mental, and physical
fitness for her God given task] her arms are strong
and firm. I learned better how to take care of myself
mentally, physically and spiritually. I was prone to
work to long and not rest enough so I learned to pace
myself throughout the day. While I had not been much
of a Bible reader, I began to do it anyway. Little did
I know that within two years I was going to need
everything I had absorbed from these times of study
when our son would meet death in his play.
18. She tastes and
sees that her gain from work [with and for God] is
good; her lamp goes not out; but burns on continually
through the night of [trouble, privation, or sorrow,
warning away fear, doubt and distrust. I was to see
just how much pain and sorrow death would bring into
each of our lives but the knowledge of God and his
words sustained. I was to know times when I would
desire to cease to feel anything but in all these
things God remained sure. I was to see thirteen years
come and go before I would see our daughter freed from
the death of her brother. We would have despaired
completely if we had not already become used to
believing God. When you start on this walk, you should
not expect every thing to get perfect overnight. It
may take years but it will be worth the walk.
19. She lays her
hand to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
Whatever work needs to be done, I will not disdain it
nor put it off. All honest work is honorable.
Sometimes one of your children will need your help in
some area. Take the time to seek God for how to help;
He will tell you how. After years of working with
Marie, I had doctors at the University of Houston ask
what had been done to help her.
20. She opens her
hand to the poor; yes, she reaches out her filled
hands to the needy [whether in body, soul, mind or
spirit]. There is always excess to share with those in
need. By training yourself in Godly wisdom, there is
also spiritual and material abundance to share.
21. She fears not
the snow for her family, for all her household are
doubly clothed in scarlet. [Josh. 2.18,19; Heb.
9:19-22.] I should be looking ahead to winter and
making preparations before the winter cold arrives.
The gathering together of my families clothing is my
responsibility. It should be sufficient for the needed
warmth.
22. She makes for
herself coverlets of scarlet, cushions and rugs of
tapestry. Her clothing is of linen, pure white and
fine, and of purple [such as that of which the
clothing of the priests and the hallowed cloths of the
temple are made]. [Isa. 61:10; I Tim. 2:9; Rev 3:5;
19:8,14.] I am to seek bargains in furnishings for my
home; each purchase should of the best quality I can
afford. It will last longer; by this I will save money
in the long run. I probably will not have to buy that
thing again. I should dress myself and my family well,
not to impress man with my goods, but to show to all
men that a Godly life is good and that God will meet
all of you needs just as he has promised. I should
apply myself to my business which is the wife's
business. The comfort of the home is the wife's
responsibility. Rugs of tapestry speaks to me of
warmth and beauty.
23. Her husband is
known in the cities gates, when he sits among the
elders of the land. [Pro. 12:4.] God showed me that my
inaptitude had bothered my husband at work. When he
should have been concentrating on work, he was
sometimes worried about me. This kept back his
progress to the degree that he was concerned. If I
would take up my responsibility at home, play on his
team and pull my share of the load, he would be freer
to apply himself to his job while there and to the
family while with us.
24. She makes fine
linen garments and leads others to buy them; she
delivers to the merchants girdles [or sashes that free
one for service]. I will apply my hand to work for my
family and will look out for something that I can put
in the market place that will fill a need there and
bring in good return. In the days this verse was
written these girdles were expensive and highly
valued. They would bring a good return on the time and
effort put into them.
25. Strength and
dignity are her clothing and her position is strong
and secure. She rejoices over the future -- the latter
day or time to come [knowing that she and her family
are in readiness for it]! By applying myself
correctly, I will have no need to feel worthless any
longer. I now see I have worth and ability, and others
also see this. I shall have no fear for old age
because I have helped to prepare for it.
26. She opens her
mouth with skillful and Godly Wisdom, and in her
tongue is the Law of Kindness -- giving counsel and
instruction. After I have learned to apply this wisdom
to my life,I will be ready to give wise counsel and
instruction but not before (Titus 2:3-5).
27. She looks well
to how things go in her household, and the bread of
idleness [gossip, discontent and self-pity] she will
not eat. [I Tim. 5:14; Titus 2:5.] I was shown I
should not let my children bring things into our home
which were evil or hurtful to us. I was to take the
time to find out what was wrong with it and teach this
to the children. If they did not obey me, the matter
was then turned over to Daddy. He would then instruct
the child. If this did not bring the correct behavior,
punishment was sure. If I engage in gossip, discontent
or self-pity, I teach my children these things and
create a place of trouble in which to live. I should
be observant of any problem in the children, begin to
seek God for the solution and minister the answer to
the children.
28. Her children
rise up and call her blessed [happy, fortunate and to
be envied]; and her husband boasts of and praises her,
saying, Your children may not tell you this until they
are old enough to begin to see that correct and
obedient living saves them a lot grief. Be patient -
it will come. Our daughter didn't tell us until this
year.
29. Many daughters
have done virtuously, nobly and well [with the
strength of character that is steadfast in goodness]
but you excel them all. Wives, these are the words of
her husband. These would not have been my husband's
words without my change. God also showed me I was to
begin the correction in my life whether or not my
husband co-operated or appreciated it. I was amazed to
see the change in my husband's attitude toward me as I
changed. I was not to change to get my husband's
approval but in obedience to God.
30. Charm and grace
are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not
lasting], but a woman who reverently and worshipfully
fears the Lord, she shall be praised! As we all are
witnesses, beauty fades away. We may do every thing in
this list but if we do not have that beauty of heart
which comes from having learned to trust and obey God,
we will not accomplish our goal. For what is in the
heart comes up on the lips. If with a true heart we
serve our Lord and our families, then we will have no
occasion for shame when we see our Lord Jesus.
31. Give her of the
fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her
in the gates of the city! [Phil. 4:8 - Think on what
is true , pure, lovely or excellent - fix your mind on
it.] This is one of the New Testament commandments. I
believe this verse means she should receive some of
the money of her labors. But it means more than that;
it means she should be allowed to enjoy and receive
the benefits of her life long labors. I have witnessed
much ill treatment of women because of the hardness of
the mens' hearts. If there ever was any scripture to
prove the abilities and station of women, this is it.
No inferior creature will be able to accomplish this.
Woman is parallel to man. If she either does not do
her duty or is not allowed to do, it the whole family
suffers especially the children.
HUSBANDS AND
FATHERS Men, you are the main source of
women's problems. Check yourself out as I explain:
The father is head
and priest of the family. A passive father who does
not lead the family in Biblical teaching and behavior
, one with bad temper, unkindness and shirking duty is
failing both wife and children. What about child abuse
such as beatings, rape, not providing loving support
with your discipline, mental cruelty, etc.?
Have you taught your
family in the Law of God? Do you remember you're the
leader? Do you see to it that each person knows you
know they are precious in your eyes?
If you fall down on
your job of respecting and protecting their mother,
children will feel the same thing about themselves
that you do and say about their mom. Girls assume all
men are like you. If you commit adultery, your
daughter will feel all men are dishonest in this area.
She will have a hard time trusting her husband.
Even if a young girl
should come from a bad home and by a very fortunate
event marry a good man who does fill his role, she
will still have an almost impossible task to be a good
co-operative wife being as she is trained to fail,
blame herself, have no self worth and no idea what
should be done.
Next it's husbands
who cause problems. In all my fifty years, I've seen
few men even vaguely fulfill their role as husband or
father.
By the time a child
starts to school, he or she has already accepted the
standard set by the father. As a teacher, I have found
it is a very hard, if not impossible, task to change a
child's opinion of themselves.
Men, the whole
family needs you to be a man working at doing the job
of husband and father God's way.
I believe it is
"selfishness" according to II Tim. 3:1-5 that keeps
men and women from prospering in all areas as God
would have us to.
Wives, the "submit"
in the Bible means to play on his team. If you have or
want to have a good husband, you'll have to begin to
play on his team. When you married him, you said you
would; now is the earliest time you can start.
Moms, we're next in
breaking down or building up our girls. By our
attitude toward their fathers and ourselves, we teach
or perpetuate our values. If you've accepted bad
behavior or treatment and have taught it to your
daughters, today is the best day to start a change.
Our daughters accept
our values and attitudes as the Gospel. They do it so
early in life that they are seldom questioned. Like
mother, like daughter is truer than you think.
When you want
anything in your life to get lined up with God, all
wrong in that area must be truly repented of with a
Godly hatred and shame. The repentance needs to be so
strong and clear in your mind that it will always
remind you of the incident.
MINISTRY AND
LIST OF DEMONS TO CAST OUT IN THE NAME OF JESUS
As fathers and
mothers, we repent of all things we have failed to do
that were our responsibilities:
Lover's of Self,
Utterly Self-centered
Inordinate Greedy
Desire for Wealth, Proud, Arrogant, Contemptuous
Boasters
Abusive, Blasphemous
Scoffers, Disobedient to Parents
Ungrateful, Unholy
Profane, Without
Natural Affection
Callous / Inhuman,
Relentless
False Accusers,
Trouble Makers
Intemperate, Loose
in Morals and Conduct
Uncontrollable,
Fierce
Haters of Good,
Treacherous / Betrayers
Rash, Inflated with
Self-conceit
Lovers of Sensual
Pleasures, Lovers of Vain Amusements
Having a Form of
Godlessness, Denying the Power of God
Strangers to God,
Weak Natured / Spiritually Dwarfed
Easily Swayed /
Silly, Evil Desires
Seductive Impulses,
Inquiring Never Acquiring
Depraved Minds,
Distorted Minds
Counterfeit, Rash
Folly
Wicked Men,
Imposters
Deceivers, Leading
Astray
Lazy, Unorganized
Spiritual fantasy,
Wrong Priorities
We forgive anyone
who has done any of the above things to us. We also
forgive anyone who has sexually, physically, mentally
or spiritually abused us. We now break the curses of:
Witchcraft, Drugs
Rock Music, Ungodly
Sex
Satan Worship,
Bastard
Incest, Sexual Abuse
Rape, Divorce
Adultery, Harlotry
Prostitution,
Homosexual
Pride, Willing
Deceivers
Disobedient to God,
Dishonoring Parents
Stubbornness,
Bestiality
Striking Parents,
Cursing Parents
Jezebel, Ahab
Turning Someone from
God, Not Properly Disciplining Children
Sexual Sins,
Offending Children Who Believe